Norooz

This is supposed to be the most important day in the whole year, the great Norooz, one of the most ancient celebrations in the world and one of the most beautiful ones.
You feel so sorry for yourself that you can not be beside the ones whom you love, to embrace them and wish them a happy New year, to stay awake till the moment that year changes and to feel the nature's green celebration deep inside you.
I just miss every single moment of it and I am crying and shedding foolish tears. My heart aches so much now that I can really feel the misery of being secluded and separated.
I really want to achieve here and come back to the place where I think I belong and do some good for my own people and my own nation.
Now after almost 1.5 weeks of coming to this place, I keep asking myself: "does it worth all the homesickness and loneliness and suspension that I am experiencing". I don't know the answer yet. Let's hope and keep my fingers crossed that future would hold the best for me. They say that time will cure everything, but I know one thing: there is something some voice inside of me that keeps saying: you will never ever be that happy Sara that your uncle used to call you. I have reached some of my goals, instead I sacrificed my peace and happiness. If I can not regain it soon, which I hope I will, I am going to forget about everything and go back to the place where I belong. On the other hand, my fighter soul still encourages me to resist and to be happy, no matter how. I am going to practice it. I am going to be happy again.... I know that. It is not in my nature to play the role of the victim, to be upset, no I will be happy, I know.....