For the previous couple of days I was on a trip, visiting my aunt and her family. I don't know how to describe it but I just felt like crying as I saw her. She is old and she lost lots of weight and she reminds me of my dad in his last months of his life. I just feel so empty to be parted from my beloved ones, I feel like I am dying myself. I am just talking nonsense but this is what in my mind. If I die today nobody will even notice that. I just wanted to be a working part of this universe for the rest of my life. Now I can not justify anything, even my existence, me being here, working, eating, why all these efforts? Aren't we going to die and buried six feet under. so what is the point!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to stay optimistic and to believe in happy-endings, however, I am sick and tired of being nice, smiling and giving good feedback to everyone. I am even tired of myself. I know every individual has ups and downs and I am definitely in my downs!
I know I will feel better tomorrow, or the day after, or.........
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